The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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