We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
