she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
