she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dick very happy bro
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