i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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