Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
