6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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