I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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