It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
