i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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