Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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