Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize