Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
