just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Jerry, you need to find god
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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