I'm really into asian looking animals
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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