YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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