i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
