dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize