im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
These tits shall not be calmed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
