I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Someone came in the potted fern
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
