He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
