The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
