Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
