well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
