New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sober January is a disaster.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
