Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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