you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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