hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
