if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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