jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
