do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
