His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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