Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
