Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
