Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
