You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize