she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dear god my vagina.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
