I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
