Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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