I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
