How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
