If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
