You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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