i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
