Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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