so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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