Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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