I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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