I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
