i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
