eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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