Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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