Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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