I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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