What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
