Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
