I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize