I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
