Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
