Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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