sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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