I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
