you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
