Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
